Respect is an Understatement.

I have been wanting to share this but I really haven't been able to think of the right words to say. Before we came over here, I will not try hide the fact that I was scared. I was intimidated by what was in front of me. I felt so small and so helpless. I thought we would be hated and unwanted. I even let my mind entertain thought of all the horrible things that "could" happen to us. I made my self physically sick. Worry and fear- two things that don't have a place in the victorious Christian life were taking over. After we got here and the Lord began a work in my heart everything was improving. I was learning to daily trust the Lord and not let myself think about anything "scary" or negative. Of course I had to learn to not watch Aljezeira News Station, and we quickly deleted all the propaganda channels.(There is one channel that shows nothing but Insurgents in Iraq killing American Soldiers and laughing about it. They just show it over and over again all day.) Yea, sick to your stomach doesn't explain what I felt when I saw that. We erased that one as quick as possible. I had to eliminate as much negative as I could. But everyday I was growing daily more comfortable here.
Then we heard news from Turkey....a Bible publishing warehouse type place had basically been attacked. There had been 5 young Turkish guys who claimed they wanted to learn more about Jesus and His message. They arranged a meeting with two young Turkish Christians and a German man serving in Turkey. They used the Publishing place as a meeting center as well. Well, to make the story short and less graphic, the 5 "seekers" brutally killed the two young Christians and their German mentor. The German man had a wife and 3 beautiful children. He was in his 30's I think. They had a huge funeral for the men. Thousands of Turkish believers attended. The fiance of one of the young Turks had to watch the funeral from far away because though she is a Christian her parents would not let her attend. The thing that impacted me the most about all of this and the thing that really helped change me, was that at this funeral the wife of the German was interviewed. She was asked if she had anything to say to the men who did this to her husband. She replied to the question with a very short but familiar statement: "Father forgive them for they know not what they have done." She responded in Turkish. I am sure when the people heard her answer they were amazed and confused. This response can only be given and understood by those who know the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. When I heard about this I began to cry, I asked God to make me as strong as she is. She stayed in Turkey with her family. This kind of example I have never seen before. I praised God that his Grace is sufficient. I learned how petty the little things I get upset about are. I learned honestly how to appreciate my husband more. I learned that if this lady could trust God and have faith even enough to stay there, that God would meet all my needs and calm all my fears.
I am not saying since then that I do not struggle or worry. It would be a lie to say that, but since then I realized that my life is about God. HE is great and He will always be all I need! I can honestly say that living here has changed me in ways I never thought possible. I know God is working in my heart and life. It is amazing to me how if you are scared and alone how if you search for Him, He not only lets you find Him, but He lets you know Him better. I don't know if this makes since, I am just writing whats in my mind. Never more than a few days go by without me thinking about this lady. I don't even know her name I just know that I respect her and that God has greatly used her in my life. I just wanted to share this with who ever is reading.